Dear Peapod:
In light of me being sick the last few days, I've been pondering what it means to watch you from the sidelines, unable to touch your hands, kiss your tickle spots, place your cheek next to mine. It's been torture, more so than my ailing cold and stummy problems. Yet, the more I reflect on this, I am beginning to understand this is to be my fate in life. As you continue to grow, I must watch from the porch as you make your choices in life. I will be there when you need me to catch you, when you need my embrace, when you need me to kiss away your tears. But, I have to let you be, too. The only way for you to learn and continue your quest through this great journey is to allow you to live life the way you decide to live it. I am the spectator that cheers the loudest when you succeed, and I will be the referee when you need to be called on your fouls. But, I'll always be watching--the mama bird ready to swoop in and catch her flying chick.
I love you my darling baby bird,
Mommy
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Letter 12
Dearest Peapod:
In the spirit of Hootie and the Blowfish, "Time...why do you punish me?" You are sprouting like a beanstalk, so strong and full of life. Not only do you have almost perfect control of your head, but you turn your head to find me when I call out to you. You can find your Daddy in a sea of faces. You speak to me in a perfect language only you can understand, but it's like hearing angels singing from the Heavens. Your laugh melts my heart as if to say you are mine and your laugh is for me only. I long to just sit with you, feel your warm presence against my cheek. Time is getting away from me. It moves so quickly that I cannot keep up. I feel as if your life-race is almost over, when yet it has only just begun. No longer are you my infant baby, but you are now my smiley daughter. Your presence in my life has made all the difference--I just ask for more time for me to be present in your life.
I love you my little fish,
Mommy
In the spirit of Hootie and the Blowfish, "Time...why do you punish me?" You are sprouting like a beanstalk, so strong and full of life. Not only do you have almost perfect control of your head, but you turn your head to find me when I call out to you. You can find your Daddy in a sea of faces. You speak to me in a perfect language only you can understand, but it's like hearing angels singing from the Heavens. Your laugh melts my heart as if to say you are mine and your laugh is for me only. I long to just sit with you, feel your warm presence against my cheek. Time is getting away from me. It moves so quickly that I cannot keep up. I feel as if your life-race is almost over, when yet it has only just begun. No longer are you my infant baby, but you are now my smiley daughter. Your presence in my life has made all the difference--I just ask for more time for me to be present in your life.
I love you my little fish,
Mommy
Monday, April 11, 2011
Letter 11
Dear Peapod,
It's official--you have now been breathing the air of life for 4 months now, and I have no idea where the time went. It's as if yesterday I was massaging my enormous belly awaiting the moment you would knock the wind out of my lungs to say you were ready to come join me, and today you are looking at me with the knowledge of a real being that knows you must eat, sleep, and empty your bodily wastes 10x1000 times a day! Your comforting nature knows when I need a smile. Your health is of the utmost importance to me, and God knows I could not handle any deviation from a healthy check-up. I found it hard to compose myself as they jabbed the syringes into your muscular legs, squeezing the antibodies into your blood. Afterwards, I thought you would cry, moan, be sick, but not my peapod. Oh no, my peapod was the beast that laughed at the injections. Once the shots were over, you gazed at the nurses, silently challenging, "Is this all you got?"
I love you my warrior peapod,
Mommy
It's official--you have now been breathing the air of life for 4 months now, and I have no idea where the time went. It's as if yesterday I was massaging my enormous belly awaiting the moment you would knock the wind out of my lungs to say you were ready to come join me, and today you are looking at me with the knowledge of a real being that knows you must eat, sleep, and empty your bodily wastes 10x1000 times a day! Your comforting nature knows when I need a smile. Your health is of the utmost importance to me, and God knows I could not handle any deviation from a healthy check-up. I found it hard to compose myself as they jabbed the syringes into your muscular legs, squeezing the antibodies into your blood. Afterwards, I thought you would cry, moan, be sick, but not my peapod. Oh no, my peapod was the beast that laughed at the injections. Once the shots were over, you gazed at the nurses, silently challenging, "Is this all you got?"
I love you my warrior peapod,
Mommy
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Letter 10
My dearest peapod,
You may find it odd that I ask you this question, but how do I teach you confidence when I am not confident in my own abilities. I would hate to one day see my insecurities mirrored in the innocence of your eyes. How should I teach you if you give your very best, you must be confident in the outcome regardless if it is good or bad. I have not mastered the art of being confident. I am a self-saboteur. From what I hear, I have so much potential to be great, but I let myself get in the way of my own success because I lack the confidence to know I can be great. I do not want that for you my sweet girl. Be like your father. Take life in strides and make the very best of what you can. Try to not let others bring you down. Remember there's no one but the good Lord that you need to please. Not even your father or me can love you like the Lord can love you. Put your faith and confidence in Him that He will grant you the keys to open the necessary doors to success. Do not measure your worth by others' standards. But above all else, you must live with yourself everyday--try to love yourself.
I love you my greatest accomplishment,
Mommy
You may find it odd that I ask you this question, but how do I teach you confidence when I am not confident in my own abilities. I would hate to one day see my insecurities mirrored in the innocence of your eyes. How should I teach you if you give your very best, you must be confident in the outcome regardless if it is good or bad. I have not mastered the art of being confident. I am a self-saboteur. From what I hear, I have so much potential to be great, but I let myself get in the way of my own success because I lack the confidence to know I can be great. I do not want that for you my sweet girl. Be like your father. Take life in strides and make the very best of what you can. Try to not let others bring you down. Remember there's no one but the good Lord that you need to please. Not even your father or me can love you like the Lord can love you. Put your faith and confidence in Him that He will grant you the keys to open the necessary doors to success. Do not measure your worth by others' standards. But above all else, you must live with yourself everyday--try to love yourself.
I love you my greatest accomplishment,
Mommy
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Letter 9
My dear Peapod,
I love you my sweet girl. I declare it when your lying in my arms, oblivious of the evil outside our door. I exclaim it when you're smiling at my goofy antics to get you to laugh (which you started to do yesterday). I sob it while you lay sleeping. I love you--it doesn't seem as if I can say it enough or adequately show you in all the ways you deserve. There is no comparison to the love that this mommy has for her bumblebee. I touch your face in the twilight as a reminder that you're real. You sweetly smile, and I long to know the dreams in your heart. I listen to your soft breathing, and I long to know the rhythm in your soul. You astound me everyday, and I have to catch myself--are you really mine? Did we really plant a seed that resulted in your birth? But with one look, I see my eyes looking back at me. In that look, you say all that needs to be said. "I love you, too, Mommy."
I love you my love child,
Mommy
I love you my sweet girl. I declare it when your lying in my arms, oblivious of the evil outside our door. I exclaim it when you're smiling at my goofy antics to get you to laugh (which you started to do yesterday). I sob it while you lay sleeping. I love you--it doesn't seem as if I can say it enough or adequately show you in all the ways you deserve. There is no comparison to the love that this mommy has for her bumblebee. I touch your face in the twilight as a reminder that you're real. You sweetly smile, and I long to know the dreams in your heart. I listen to your soft breathing, and I long to know the rhythm in your soul. You astound me everyday, and I have to catch myself--are you really mine? Did we really plant a seed that resulted in your birth? But with one look, I see my eyes looking back at me. In that look, you say all that needs to be said. "I love you, too, Mommy."
I love you my love child,
Mommy
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