Letter 2

Dear Miss Peapod,

You are already quite the little lady.  Rather than belch and pass gas like your father (and the doctors and other family members and neighbors and practically every other living thing) wants you to do, you scream at the thought of having to participate in such a "male" favorite hobby.  Due to your sensitive tummy (sorry baby, but you inherited that from me), you MUST pause during feeding to rid yourself of the gas bubble that needs to erupt from your belly.  The screech that follows after you realize you no longer have a nipple in your mouth is agonizing to my ears at best.  And nothing is worse to me than having you sound asleep only to have you violently awakened by the gas exploding from the other end.  Ladies do these things as quietly as possible and not in public--I know your sobs are only due to the embarrassment you must feel at doing these things in front of all to see.  I empower you to enjoy your release and know that it's for the good of your body (at least that's what I tell myself when I refrain from giving you back the bottle until you belch as your father models for you).

I love you sweet gassy girl,

Mommy